Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Man, The Myth, The Tenderoni

I wrote this about Mike back in the summer of '08. It's a fake Rolling Stone article that displays my amazing writing skill. Enjoy!

It's unclear exactly when and how Mike Tavs became the quintessential Renaissance man we know today, but by 2007 when he moved from his native New York to Arizona, he'd created an entirely new genre of music based on an interesting amalgamation of folk and hip hop. Within this genre, still unnamed and generally unclassifiable, he has created works which span from an entire album about pizza (Anal Folk) to works by his latest group the BackYard Association (BYA) with intriguing songs such as the top 20 hit "Fart on My Dick". It has been an interesting transformation, to say the least, for this city boy transplanted to the generally fruitless desert southwest in an attempt at his career in audiology. While he still practices his trade, his true passion is making the music that his patients may not be able to hear, and probably wouldn't want to.
Rolling Stone met with Dr. Tavs at his home in downtown Tucson to delve into his intelligent and somewhat perverse mind that we love so very much.

I met him outside his modest home that sits behind a rental car facility along a busy, sometimes seedy street leading directly into downtown, which is "convenient because I can walk places", says Tavs. I ask him what kinds of places he goes within walking distance and his reply, "I don't really go out much." It seems that Tavs, or "The Dignifier" as he likes to be called, would rather spend an evening in his back yard with his neighbors. "That's where we came up with the name BackYard Association. We all hang out back there together." He takes me out to see where, as he says, "the magic happens". Apparently magic of many kinds happens here, it is also where he met Erica Nicksin, quite literally the girl next door and as it turns out, one of the members of BYA. "Shes perfect for me. We are each others Tenderoni", he says. We return to his duplex and go inside. His cat (named Soda, referencing a Seinfeld episode) tries to run out and he catches her. Inside, his decor is most definable as "Bachelor pad". There is a couch, a coffee table, a desk, and T.V. "I don't really need more than this. I spend most of my time on the computer listening to music or talking to friends back in New York." He sits at his folding chair in front of the desk. I see that he has iTunes open on the computer and ask him what he was listening to last. This apparently was a very exciting topic for Tavs as one can tell from his answer...

"The last CD I listened to was composed by John Cage and two Blue Whales. It captured the whales emitting sounds of love, antipathy, fortitude, and melting pots of emotion only possible in America. John Cage added to the sonic blast that is whale passion with aptly accompanying emotive key work." Mike pauses briefly, "Oh man, I just realized that made me sound like a total fag. However, it's a record that stirs deep, profound emotions that make the Red Sea look like a shallow jerk off." (He gestures with his hand describing his thought).It is through this kind of intense love for music that Tavs excels in all aspects of his artistic career. Even at a young age, he was not an easy person to fully understand. He has gone from one extreme to the next, spanning every gamut in between. Truth be told, Tavenieres' personal transition from a trouble-making teen to a responsible adult was not as difficult as one may think. In high school he was about as bad as they come, but he knew he had to have an education which led him to his field in audiology. When first asked what his job is, Tavs usually replies, "I make old people hear." It is an interesting choice in profession to say the least; it defines his life in many ways. He loves music. He lives music. And without hearing, he would have nothing.

While his passion lies within sounds and song, he never lets that hold him back from what the future may hold. "A true artist", as Tavs says, "Is always on the brink of creation or destruction. The only way anything will come of life is whether or not you decide to let it happen. Much like pregnancy."
I ask him what he thinks will come of his life, and being the man of intense forethought and insight that he is, he answers,

"My future is something that many people view in awe. I don't view my future since it has not occurred yet. I was told by more than one God that I will continue to end suffering in America and in hell through my music." One can only wonder if he is joking."I am building an outfit to help me achieve this- it will have at least 4 pockets in both the pant and shirt/jacket portions. It becomes obvious that he is joking. Or maybe not..."I would like to incorporate music with life. I want sedimentary rock somehow involved in my music. I want a little persons sounds on the record. I want the spirit of the Jamestown settlers to jump out of the speakers and do the sex to your broad while all you can think is, '"God damn this is a great song."' If it can be done, Mike T. can do it.

Any man who can refer to himself in the Third person is to be admired if he can do it with great finesse. It is more than believable that Tavs is capable of capturing the soul of his forefathers as well as the hip hop scene that arose from his city of origin not so long ago. He is like the Phoenix, rising from his own ashes and recreating himself over and over again, and yet remaining somewhat the same through it all. I ask Tavs where he sees himself in time to come.

"In three years I see myself as a man within a forest- a very handsome Pisan. In five years I see the same except the Apocalypse will be closer so I'll be stocking up on canned items and night-lights. I'll probably have come closer to understanding why I'm on Mother Earth and what my purpose is. In ten years, I'll remember that shit and think, '"Why did I ever waste my time thinking of that hippie crap.?"' I'll still be making music, but without instruments or my voice. I'll reach into your heart and leave my human juices swimming in your aorta as I have since my first album, "I Grew Up Crestfallen", dropped in 2001 AC.

I was then told that I have a good set of lips. Through the haze of unknown futures, changing facial hair, and extreme music transformations, I decided to ask Mike Tavs one last question. At this point, who knows what the question actually was. The answer though, speaks to no one and yet everyone.

"Before we end this and you know we do the Mike T. in the back, I want to speak on the problem of haters. You know, yeah, I looks mad good and I'm psychic and you most likely are not, but I don't see myself as that different. Please, get off the message boards and create your own body of work. I beg the public, stop being inferior and create art. Like when the Easter bunny arose from the grave, you to can raise yourself from the shackles of mediocrity.

'Nuff said.

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