Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Everyone knows Europeans don't tip.

It has become a game to me, trying to guess whether or not the Europeans will tip. It's a fact that in Europe you don't tip. But I'm pretty sure that these people read guide books before coming to NYC and I can't imagine the guide books don't mention that in America, we tip. I've been able to narrow it down by country, which countries tip and which don't. England tips, France is 50/50. Italy can either be very generous or very stingy. It has become very obvious to me in the last 10 minutes that Spaniards do NOT tip. I just had about 5 of them in here, demanding things left and right, wanting weird stuff, not speaking English, ordering things I had to cook for them. Ordering them in Spanish. And never smiling or saying thank you. They ordered 12 different things, and even though I was helping someone else when they came in, their leader just started telling me what he wanted. I got them what they wanted, and sat here and watched them make a mess of the table. When it was time for them to pay, the total was $23. That is really cheap for that much stuff in Manhattan. He gave me a 20 and $3 in quarters. He had a huge wad of cash. Did any of it go in my tip jar after I was their waitress, barrista, cook, busboy, and cashier? Heck no. They just walked out, probably on their way to Century 21 to spend all that money or to the Statue of Liberty or something. It made me so mad. Not that he didn't tip, because obviously I am used to Europeans who don't get that they're in America, even though they're all wearing stupid I heart NY shirts. It makes me mad that he kept pointing at things like I was some kind of idiot. He glared at me the entire time they were here. If you hate American so much, go back to Spain. I want to put a sign on my tip jar that reminds people that I'm not just taking their order. I'm also cooking their food and making their espresso and cleaning up after their messy children. It's the least they can do to recognise that and leave me a few dollars. If they just order coffee or something I don't expect anything. But food? Come on! Unfortunately there is no solution to my problem. Europeans aren't going to start tipping because I complain about it. Maybe a few of them will read this and realize what assholes they look like when they overlook this detail of American life.

And then there are the Bus People. Oh Bus People how I dislike you. Here in Chinatown there are lots of buses that will take you to Philly, DC, Boston, etc. for insanely low prices. Do you know who ride these buses? Really cheap people and really poor people. The Chinese business owners do something I wish we did. They have signs on their doors that say "NO BUS!" This translates to "If you're here because you're waiting for a bus, we don't want you in our store." The Bus People are the most demanding, low class people I have to deal with. On top of complaining about the prices, (which as I said before are really cheap for Manhattan) they throw a hissy fit if it takes me more than 2 minutes to make their stupid egg sandwich because the bus is leaving in one minute. If your bus is leaving in one minute, DON'T GO IN A RESTAURANT AND ORDER FOOD! Wait for your bus! Or order a muffin! I don't have to cook that. I've started asking Bus People how long they have and if they are in a hurry I will tell them to order something that doesn't involve heating a pan, melting butter, beating eggs, toasting something, or application of any condiment. I would rather they leave than give me attitude about the amount of time it takes to scramble eggs. And for Christ sake, don't order the waffles. You will miss your bus and I won't care.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I am a Link

I was googling myself (no, I'm not egotistical, I'm bored at work) and came across a website that had created a link to my blog about the horrible Moby Dick shirt! It says, "Blogger Erica Nicksin deems this "the most horrible" T-shirt ever." Wow! Now I have proof that people are actually reading what I write. Which could be good, or maybe it might make me nervous about what I'm writing, but either way my writing is not pointless. Now lots of people know that I thought a t-shirt was ugly. And not only is the link to this blog on the website, but the website is called powermobydick.com and has all things Moby Dick.

At first I worried that people would think I dislike Melville because I disliked the ugly shirt, but then I clicked on the link to my own blog and remembered that I have a picture of a whale at the top of my page and have numerous posts about Melville.

I'm at work right now so I can't do any in-depth writing, but this has caused a stirring in my brain and as I have been unusually witty lately I'll have to make the best of it. Maybe more people will read what I have to say, even if it's about things like shirts or pizza.

UPDATE: I am another link too!
Not quite sure what the website is, but interesting.