Skinny Erica, Not So Skinny Erica

My love of food has gotten the better of me and yesterday I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I realized that after trying to eat "healthier" on my own, my idea of healthier wasn't actually that healthy. I knew deep down inside that eating multiple artichokes dipped in my special sauce really wasn't low calorie, and who is full after two artichokes? That transitioned to the "eat less" phase where I would eat less, and then get so hungry that I didn't care anymore and would eat too many Utz nacho chips. And drink a few beers. They go so well with the chips. I love food and I love to make it. I love flavors of all kinds. It's hard to cook and not get carried away with the options that lay in front of you at the store, where you have limitless free flowing food ideas. It's hard to stifle those ideas and even harder to care about fat and calories when your brain keeps telling you how good it's going to taste. Today I had the most un-creative shopping experience ever. Whole grain whatever, fiber something, non-fat things that I usually laugh at. I did find a great deal on black berries, but that was about the only thing that excited me. The contents of my basket were all different shades of brown. Except for the milk, which is still 2% because I can never settle for less. Non-fat milk? Why not just use water? It's like saying "non-fat butter".

As much as I'm complaining about all this, I really do want to lose weight. It's not as easy as the last time I did. Back then I was doing physical labor for eight hours a day and eating a salad for lunch. And even then I never got that skinny. I don't want to be a stick, but I would like to fit in my clothes. That's what started this whole thing. I don't have a full length mirror at home, so when I went clothes shopping I got to see what I really look like. Don't get me wrong, I'm not huge or anything, but I'm not how I want to be. So I decided to pay some company $12 a week to give me pamphlets and weigh me and teach me how to make "better choices" using the POINTS system. They always write it like that in the pamphlets. POINTS. I have never been on a diet so self control is hard. But I'm doing it and I guess it's not that bad. But it's hard to read something where every other word is bold and italic. And sometimes has the trademark symbol after it.

But what am I supposed to make for dinner? Anything with bread is pretty much out of the question because that would use up too many POINTS. I want to keep my points (sorry, I can't keep doing bold italics) for things that are the "better choices" like filling healthy foods. What are those, you may ask? Let me get my "pocket guide" and I'll tell you. Pretty much anything whole-wheat or whole-grain. Fat-free dairy and dairy substitutes. Dairy substitutes?! Lean meats. (Lean meats are tough, flavorless meats.) I do like a pork chop though, and those are lean. So I'm going to have to be extra creative with my cooking. It's not even so much the types of food that bother me, but after not having to watch what I eat for so long, I feel like a weirdo looking at serving sizes and calories and fat. Mike doesn't help much, sitting next to me eating garlic bread like it's nothing, after his two chicken breasts and bowl of pasta, while I removed half the chicken from my nearly dressing-less salad because I only had 9 points left for the day. I like salad so I didn't feel bad eating it, but I really wanted that damn bread.

Another thing that's going to be really tough is beer. It's not as many points as you may think, but when you only have 24 for the day, you can't be using them all up on tasty, tasty beer. But you do get weekly points allowances, of which there are 35, and you can use them however you like. I'm saving mine for the Bruce Springsteen cover band we're going to see at a bar. Then I can have some vodka and sodas with lime and not starve myself all day. That would not be a healthy and sensible choice. See? I'm getting it.

Enough complaining from me, I'm going to stick with this and fit into my clothes again. If anyone is still reading this I'm sorry for the lack of funnyness in this post. If anyone reading this has gone to weight watchers and has tips on tasty food, leave a comment. I just needed to get some things off my chest. Hopefully when I lose weight I won't actually "get the things off my chest". (Get it? Boob joke.)