Other Blogs and The People Who Write Them.

I like to look at the blogs of people I don't know. There are days worth of entertainment to be had, just by clicking "next blog". I'm sure there are blogs on just about every topic, but as any reader of blogs probably notices, most of them are written by mothers about their families. About how little Brendan made the team or how Makenzye (or other ugly girl name) made a poopy today. Most of these blogs also include some kind of scrap-booking reference or lots of butterflies and sparkly things. And almost all of them quote the bible, or talk about how the kids are "blessings", or have some kind of thing about being thankful.
Examples from some real live mom blogs!

"This morning muffins and fruit were on the menu for breakfast. Sawyer was still sleeping and Caroline wanted to help. So she pulled up and chair and was a great assistant. I still can't believe that she is closer to 2 than 1. Time has gone sooooooooo quickly."

And another:

"A few times a year, I get to enjoy a weekend of scrapping away from the craziness of home. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I just can't scrap with them around. So . . . . I pack up my few carload of supplies and head out. This past weekend I finished 29 pages while enjoying friendships renewed, eating what someone other than I made for dinner, and listening to great Christian music."

"Scrapbooking"

Awww, how touching. I guess I might not get it since I'm not a mom and I'm not a religious person. My only complaint about blogs like those, are that these women probably had interests other than children and scrapbooking at some point. Where did their interests go? When they were 20 were they scrapbooking and talking about babies? I would encourage them to remember those things they used to like. They might be more interesting to read about. Like my friend Robyn. She is a mom and she has the best blog on the net. She writes about interesting topics and has great opinions. So I've got nothing against moms who blog. I just don't like reading about blessings. Blah. Babies come from an egg and a sperm. Not the magical glowing finger of God touching your uterus or something.

And then there are the people who have no idea what they're talking about, and I have no idea what they're talking about. Here is a shining example from a blog I found today. Try to get through it. Good luck:

"There's pros and cons for everything. We can't really have everything perfect. We'll just have to accept facts. Just like objects, if you like it, you'll learn to accept the cons of it. No matter you really accept it, or you're just fooling yourself to accept it. One thing for sure is, you'll still accept it no matter what way. But aren't there just some things that you just can't accept ? No matter how hard you try, you still see that "con" more than the "pro". There's just some things that we can never accept because..... that's how it is. And no matter how you fool yourself to accept it, you'll still not like the cons. It's just how life is. Either you truly accept it, or you don't. NEVER try to fool yourself in accepting something you can never accept. In the end, it will just be hurts and wounds. There's the big different from accepting yes and no. Like and Dislike. Though it's just that one tiny line that differentiates it. Just like cars. The car-car is a transportation. But a sports-car is a car for racing, speeding. Different, but their still cars. Is there any different with male and females ? Duh. But their all humans."

Yes, some things "will just be hurts and wounds". Yes, the car-car is a transportation. But I don't really know why we need to read about accepting. What are we accepting? A car-car? I don't think she ever told us. This blog is unacceptable. I can't accept it. I also can't accept "they're" grammar. I will give her an exception though, because "their all humans". Duh.




I'm posting the below photo just in case the girl who wrote that "acceptance speech" comes across my blog.

I feel like this guy pretty often. Today I sat down at the computer, ready for my brain to start spewing out creative words that would bring smiles to the faces of all those who read them. But nothing came. I have typed and deleted a few things now, and I guess I'm just not that creative today. My horoscope keeps telling me that I work too hard, and that I should take it easy. I don't know what it's talking about, as I haven't even been able to make myself do the dishes in three days. I am definitely not working too hard. But I have completely lost my focus.

I think it began with my wallet being stolen, which made me feel very violated, and made me have to deal with things that are probably the most annoying things to deal with. The bank, because this person used my debit card to buy $100 worth of metro cards, ($100 that I didn't have, which resulted in lots of fees etc.) And the DMV because my drivers license was in there. Since it was an Arizona drivers license, I had to go to their website and order another one. It would have been easy, except I couldn't remember what address they had on file for me so I had to try lots of addresses. It only let me try 3 times, and then told me I couldn't try anymore and I had to go to one of their locations. That would be easier if I wasn't in NY! So I called my mom and had her do it for me from her computer in Florida. I figured out which address they thought I lived at, which is the address of a not so great ex-boyfriend who I don't talk to anymore. So I had to find an address to say that I live at, that they will send it to, and then that person will send it to me. Thankfully I have another ex who I get along with very well, so he was happy to let me pretend to live at his house. We'll see if it works out.

As if those things weren't annoying enough, yesterday I checked the status of a package my mom sent, which they apparently tried to deliver the day before, but seeing as I wasn't home at 3 in the afternoon, they did not deliver. They also didn't leave the slip they are supposed to leave so I can reschedule the delivery. So I called the post office, and the guy who was not a very good liar told me that the slip would be in my mail box that day. It was not. They don't come back the day after attempting a delivery to leave you a note. He actually thought I would believe this. I would go pick it up at the post office, but seeing as you need the paper they are supposed to leave, and an ID (oh the ironies of life) I don't think they would just give me the box. Mike called them and demanded that they deliver it today. So we'll see if they do. I am pretty sure they won't.

So these are the reasons I can't quite get my creativity flowing lately. I'm waiting for too many things to be taken care of. And if it wasn't bad enough, the people I'm relying on are employees of a bank, the DMV, and the post office. It has to be one of the most horrible feelings of helplessness I've ever had. And that makes me really mad.

To the people who live in my neighborhood

Where I live.

Dear people who live near me,

I know this isn't the best neighborhood. I knew that when I moved here. If we could afford some fancy apartment in Riverdale I don't even know that I would want to live there because the people would probably be really snooty and boring, and I like living somewhere that is interesting and different than other places. But I do have some complaints.

To the guy whose car alarm goes off whenever someone breathes within 30 feet of his car, I'm sure there is some way to fix that. I understand that this isn't the safest place on earth, but at this point, even if someone was breaking into your ugly 1980's sedan, you wouldn't know because it's the 9th time in 3 hours that the alarm has gone off. Do you really go out and look at your car every time the alarm goes off?

To the people who honk incessantly while waiting for whoever they're waiting for to come out of their apartments, twice is enough, and laying on the horn is like announcing, "Hey! I'm a complete asshole who doesn't know how to use a cell phone!" Everyone has a cell phone. My grandparents had a cell phone before I did. People with 25 kids on welfare have a cellphone, and I know those are the people you're honking at, so just call them.

To people who are unaware of personal space, slow walking, and/or meandering on the sidewalk:

Jerome Ave. has a lot of people walking on the sidewalks. Some are trying to get somewhere, some are trying to beat their children in public, some are explaining something to the police, some are shoving their 4th double cheeseburger in their stinky mouth. I am someone who is trying to get somewhere. No one seems to have any clue that there are other people on the sidewalk. I really wouldn't care about having to weave in and out and around people, if they wouldn't glare at me when I brush by them in a hurry. People in Manhattan walk fast. Please, people of the Bronx, learn something from them. It's really not that hard to be considerate of other people.

To people in the grocery store:
1. There is absolutely no extra room in an aisle for me to squeeze around you and your cart. I will wait patiently until you have chosen your item, but when you glare at me because I'm in your way, well, I want to slap you with your giant bottle of soda. Some people are really nice and will apologise for not even being in the way, but most look at me like they wish I was back in some European grocery store where they think I came from.
2. Learn how to raise children. Most kids I see in the store are pretty nice. They are very friendly and considerate. I bet they have great teachers. They just don't know better than to yell things in public, or act inappropriately, because that's what their parents do. And I don't think I've ever seen a kid do anything wrong in the grocery store, but I've seen a lot of parents react as though they had. And I've seen plenty of parents treat their kids like crap for not doing anything but ask for something they like or maybe get a little over-excited. They're kids. Hopefully they will grow up to be much better adults than their parents. Please stop ruining their childhood in front of me.
3. Hey teenage deli guy! It does not take a half an hour to cut a half pound of ham.
4. To the produce department, When you run out of something quickly, it means people like it. Please order more.
5. To the meat department, I don't even want to look at what you have done to what could have been decent food. It is cut wrong. It's all too thin. And expensive. I don't even want to look at what you have. And the goat meat! I can eat cows and chickens fairly easily, but goats? No. Goats are like pets. I know, it's a cultural thing, but I had to say something.

And last but absolutely not least, the "Candy and Beer Store". I love this store. I know the people who work there and they sell me things waaaay cheaper than what other people pay. I bet I could go in there right now and tell them I don't have any money and they would give me what I wanted because they would believe I would pay them tomorrow, which I would. You see, they do this for me because everyone else who goes in there is an asshole. They smoke in the store, they loiter, they try to steal the cat who lives there. They get in the way of people who are trying to pay for things. They speak at decibels that can be heard in space.
And like everyone else I have complained about thus far, they have no idea that other people exist.
So I guess that is the thing that bothers me most about where I live.

I'm going to walk to the candy and beer store now, where I assure you I will be accosted by unpleasant things, but I will know that while I may feel alone in a world of people who don't notice that I exist, at least 5 people will read this and understand.